Little rants
I ended up pasting together a bunch of short rants about different topics here so I wouldn't have too many posts of me being whiny (just the one lol).
Proton rant
I want to write something specific about all of my Cloud (back up) hopping adventures in the past months, but I just gotta get this one little rant out because I'm PISSED.
I've just officially downgraded from Proton Unlimited to Proton Mail Plus because I was already pretty unsatisfied with their Cloud service -- no offload feature or sync different machines on the same folders (the back ups are separated by devices), but boy, even now it is still pissing me OFF.
I had to download from their browser app 500gb of files bc they don't support Linux, which took me a whole entire week in between batches and lots of angry grunts and silent fits when my internet didn't colaborate.
And now, nowwwww that I've downloaded everything and downgraded to Mail Plus (the service that I actually wanto to keep using), Proton is telling me I have 11 of 15gb already used up but it's incapable of specifying WHERE this is distributed -- is it all in my inbox? Trash? Documents I created on their damn Docs service??? Somewhere else???? TELL ME WHERE SO I CAN ORGANIZE MYSELF WHY IS THIS SO HARD.
Smosh is my dissociation technique
Watching compilations of different Smosh cast members has been my way of dissociating from life recently. Personal and world issues have been a little heavier than usual, to be honest. While I write this, I have some random TNTL (Try Not To Laugh challenge -- hot take: not very funny to me) playing in the background because their voices became kind of comforting. I'm not a very musical person, and I had to cancel my Dropout.tv subscription, so here we are.
Smosh is also good bc it makes me feel like I'm in a group of friends without having to be with a group of friends. With everyone living in other states and countries, moving away, and relationships changing... This surrogate friendship thing is comforting.
Well, maybe I should become a more musical person, idk man. After a few hours it does feel like I'm melting into the couch/chair like that scene from Maid.
Or maybe I should talk to my psychiatrist to up the antidepressants again.
One of these two.
Should I stay or should I go
Had some bad news yesterday... that also impact my unstable financial situation. Now I'm not sure if I should go back home (and deal with all the costs that come with it) or if I should stay where I am right now -- but be without my partner and my cats and my space for god knows how long.
Right now, I have no idea. Should I toss a coin to decide or write a pros and cons list?
It's been pretty rough, not gonna lie. I haven't been able to watch John Oliver (something that I liked doing) bc... too depressing. I can deal with The Dodo videos and quick news via RSS and that's about it, honestly.
People have this tendency of saying money doesn't matter that much, or that they "thank God" for whatever good is happening to them... But in the end, it's all about money. Money would absolutely solve 95% of my problems immediately, and the other 5% would be on a path to be either solved or under control.
In this life I've met two dudes (both old and white and privileged) that really made me realize that when you have money... you can just be happy and nothing else. You don't really need to be a messy mi/billionaire if you don't want to.
I met each of them a decade apart, mind you, and each living in a different state, but when I met the second guy I was reminded of the first one. Both came from privilege, worked in privileged fields (Medicine and Engineering) and were well off, but they weren't ambitious business men or anything. They were both humble, smiling, meek guys. They could afford private English classes with me (and miss classes and not ask for a refund bc money wasn't a problem), go on a trip to Iceland to isolate during the worst of Covid-19 with their entire family, gift people expensive things, but also buy an entire artisan's stock of handcrafted items to help the artist and then distribute it to family and friends. They were just living their best lives in peace with minimal drama. Wouldn't it be nice.
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