Radio Stations
When I was a kid, maybe 8 or 9, I had a neighbor whose parents collected junk. Maybe "collected" isn't the word, but they surely didn't throw it away. They had this open space above their house. It was directly on the slab I think, but it had a roof and thin wood railings with just a bunch of old stuff lying around over huge tables or on the concrete floor.
Me and my friend, Pedro Paulo, would go up there to play with whatever was at hand: old furniture, VHS and cassette tapes (mind you, it was still the 90s, we still used those, so these old ones were maybe from the 80s?) and broken power tools. And no, we weren't supervised. Did I mention it was the 90s?
In any case, my favorites by far were the old radios. For some reason they had like five or six of them, all of which different models from different eras, just these huge, heavy ass radio sets that didn't work anymore. We used to pretend they were playing music, I would try to "tune in" the little red indicator and we would sing whatever and have a laugh...
I guess kids are (were?) really easy to entertain.
But there was one thing: for whatever reason, I had it in my mind that old radios, if they worked, could only play old songs, from the time they were built. Thinking about it know, I guess I was projecting how tapes worked onto the radio. If a tape had only that one recording from that one time, why not a radio? Outside of my friend's place, I'd never seen an old radio, let alone one that worked.
Imagine my excitement when one fine day his dad came upstairs to show us that actually one of the old radios still worked! And imagine my utter and absolute shock when that 70s-looking thing spewed just regular radio programming. It was the disappointment of the decade for me (I'm writing about it almost thirty years later!). I just remember being so embarrassed of my incorrect assumption. I felt so dumb in front of my friend and his dad I wanted to run back home and pretend it never happened.
They didn't laugh or anything, but I guess a little girl with undiagnosed ADHD will overreact to the littlest mistakes. ¯_(ツ)_/¯
I'll never forget the mix of disappointment and shame I felt... over such a silly thing. It was a lot of emotion for safe, but I guess everything always felt overwhelming to me, since a very young age. It took me an embarrassingly long time to realize that about myself.
I don't know why this story has been on my mind lately, but I thought I might as well write it down and post it. It's a cherished memory.
As for the present day, I've been absent from the cool internet because of... well, life. I'm having a terrible case of The Insomnia and of course I'm also swamped with work stuff and life stuff and me stuff. From the simplest things at home to the biggest things I'm putting off, everything feels like a lot.
I guess to this day, life still overwhelms me. It's funny how we can change so much, and yet not at all.
Life updates
- I've just finished watching Severance. Season 2 was so good, I can't wait to spend the next 3 years obsessing over it while waiting for season 3. /s
- This season of the American Drag Race has been absolutely great, I'm very excited for the finale, but at the same time, I don't want it to end... because then, what am I going to obsess over?
- I've been reading a lot more recently. I devoured N. K. Jemisin's The Fifth Season in less than a week. That hasn't happened to me in years... I really missed the feeling of being truly consumed by a book. Also, I Have A Lot of Thoughts.
- Getting a healthcare plan for my two cats has been one of the best decisions of the year so far; highly recommend it. My babies are elderly and having that at hand is just amazing.
- The little internet dose I've been having is through Listography. I don't wanna toot my own horn but my video essays list is pretty good, as well as the other media ones. :) I got amazing taste, folks, check it out.
- A friend moved in with me and my husband recently; it's been a good addition to the household and the family. She's obsessed with my fat white cat but like, who could blame her?
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