AI, inadequacy and me
(っ- ‸ - ς) ~ sigh
Been using a lot of Claude.ai recently, and the more I use it, the less adequate I feel in the world. Like I'm a dumb, annoying airhead who should know better at this point, and who shouldn't be bothering flesh people with stupid ass questions. I know the AI gives me skewed, incorrect answers (frequently!), but now it feels like a comfort zone of sorts, where I don't have to expose my dumb ass to the world.
One of my biggest inner struggles ever since I can remember was being publicly shamed. I am terrified of it. I know I'd commit a heinous crime if it meant avoiding public shaming, and I'm not proud of it. Having a "private" talk with a machine about very basic coding is a huge enabler for me to keep "hidden" in shame.
But it's also very isolating. You don't get out of your own head, you don't get to know if there was a better option for that thing you're trying to do... but the choke hold of the comfort zone is far too strong.
Life Updates
- Reading: City of Brass by Shannon Chakraborty (OBSESSED ALREADY)
- Listening: OSC's albums
- Playing: Whisper of the House (aka Where Would An American Put This)
- Eating: trash (honestly)
- Thinking: life shouldn't be this hard, man
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