I think I made a mistake (& more)
I think I made a mistake. I posted something and too many people clicked on it. lol
That wasn't the plan.
You'd think there's no harm in that, but that post is not what this blog is about, and now I'm afraid there's ppl following my RSS expecting me to always talk about indie web stuff and, girls (gender-neutral)... What I do here is mostly brood and grieve. Sometimes I overthink. From time to time I mention my tech journey as a mere mortal normie. There's truly not a lot you can take from this other than some cool links I find here and there.
There's better and more knowledgeable people to follow if you're looking to keep up with internet stuff (take a look at my Blogroll, for starters), I promise. I'm just here for the anonimity and my 2000s urge to blog bc nobody understands meeee [screams in teenage angst].
So, yeah, just an FYI: don't expect anything from this blog other than random internet things and personal word vomit.
Read on for random.
Fanfics
In other news, last Tuesday I spent seven hours reading fanfiction. Not a joke, just a fact.
I think that's the first time that happens ever since I was, what? A teenager in school?
Not sure what that means.
Actually, that's a lie. I do know what that means. Life's been pretty tough and removing myself from reality is unfortunately my default self-preservation mode. Not healthy or recommended at all, but something I do since I was a small child. You'd think I'd have more self-control as a grown ass woman in her late thirties, and I thought that too... Until last Tuesday.
Back in December/January I started reading fanfiction again (it's Shannon Chakraborty's fault) after maaaany years not even touching the stuff. And then Tuesday happened (different fandom tho).
I've been trying to rationalize this and I might write an entire post overanalyzing it, so stay tuned for that (or not).
Men
I can't remember why, but this thought has been in my head for a few weeks now, so I'm just gonna go ahead and share it. Please don't come for me.
I wish cis men experienced female friendship. Not from women, but from other men. As in, men having amongst themselves a little bit of the dynamic of female friendships. It's pretty sad to watch how most of them have never experienced deep hugs, hand holding, sleeping on the same bed feeling comfortable in your skin and in the company you have outside of a romantic relationship.
When I think of myself deprived of platonic physical affection like that, well... I get pretty upset. Can't imagine what it'd be like to never have the comfort of this type of relationships.
The world would be a little better if dudes had more of that, I think.
Hear me out: maybe the companion subgenre for Female Rage in fiction should be Male Comfort. (And here's a great reading list if you're unfamiliar with the concept.)
That's Not A Hat
Inspired by a few Smosh videos, I bought the game That's Not A Hat. I'm pretty excited to play it with my friends and sister. It's gonna be a real challenge for me I think, and I should definitely take my ADHD meds before playing it, but it looks like a hoot!
Tomorrow is gonna be the day I put this bad boy to the party game test.
The Days
The days here have been weird. Since I came back home, I guess. I feel weird in my body and in my clothes. The weather is cloudy when it shouldn't be, but it's stuffy and I'm always sweaty. I'm second guessing everything that runs through my mind.
I don't know, girls. I might need to go back to therapy. Shame I can't afford it lmao.