ten months in review
It's currently 1:55 AM and even though I feel the sleep creeping up, I can't let it take me. The rescue kitty in the closed bedroom looks pretty bad. I don't think she's gonna make it. Tomorrow we'll take my parents' ashes to my older brother's grave and scatter them. Then there's a drag queen stand up comedy show.
Timing is... terrible. But I paid for it way back in July, even for the M&G ticket (Regret This Very Much). Suffice to say I'm Not In The Mood. But alas. The aunts are here and despite their help being not only welcomed but necessary, it's exhausting. They're both in their seventies and have much more social/functional energy than me, in my mid thirties. What does that say about me, you know. I won't last that long, that's for sure.
Haven't written a serious word in forever. Dabbled at some two posts on another blogging platform, under a different penname, and that's about it for the year. My mind, which once was bursting with ideas I couldn't keep up with, is now completely stale and empty. It's pretty disheartening looking at myself in the mirror.
I don't think the meds are working anymore.
Gave up the only job I liked because it also crushed me and... I guess the lack of outside support broke me more than I care to admit. Also quit the teeny tiny job that kept me at a minimum of routine and monthly income because of course I did. Things were too still, I had to go ahead and fuck it up.
Lost a rescue back in May. First kitten I lost under my care. It shattered my heart as well. Zoro didn't get to be the cat he could've been. I miss him.
Haven't read a word since Lords and Ladies and Vandermeer's Acceptance. Do I even know how to read. Ha.
And... yesterday I got the news that an anthology I have a short story on got nominated to an award. Glad the organizers are getting some recognition, it's always good for the genre. I myself don't feel like I have anything to do with it anymore tho.
And that's a wrap for the year so far, I guess.